‘Bachelor in Paradise’ Season 3 Finale Recap

Tonight is the season finale of “Bachelor in Paradise” and I can’t say I’m sad to see this end. I’ll be honest, the season hasn’t really done it for me.

Anyway, the remaining couples go on dates and decide if they want to do an overnight, stay in Paradise or leave separately.

Christen and Jack Stone:  He wants to pursue things, but she feels like that they are acquaintances and is freaking out. Read: she isn’t into him. Poor Jack. They break up and go home. The girls keep calling her scallops as she takes a swim—and seriously grow the EFF up. This show is really beginning to piss me off. Between the crap with Corinne and DeMario, the mean girls, Dean being a player—I am about done with all of this.

Jasmine and Jonathan the Tickle Monster: They decide to be friends. He gives her the same ‘you’re amazing and beautiful’ crap I’ve gotten from every guy since I was sixteen.

Raven and Adam: They decide to stay and see where things go.

Dean and D.Lo.: He blamed Kristina for things starting off weird with them and STFU, you damn player. Seriously::deep breaths and remember this is a TV show, Sammi:: then he DUMPS her because he loves Kristina and I just can’t anymore with this crap. ::reaches for all the wine::

Diggy and Dominique: Done!

Diggy and Jaimi: Friendzoned!

Amanda and Robby: Done-zo!

Derek and Taylor: Still together.

Lacey and Daniel: Still together.

The remaining couples go on dates and get fantasy suite cards. Everyone goes to the Fantasy Suites and I really don’t care. Just use your protection, kiddies!

Reunion time! Corrine and DeMario reunite and it is awkward AF. I think this was all a publicity stunt and I am sickened over it. They are in therapy and let’s move on, ok?

Recap of the season—getting more wine….

Jasmine and Christen fight and can we please grow up? We also get into the scallop fingers thing and yeah….we all know she loves scallops.

Kristina and D.Lo—they agree that there was a huge misunderstanding and finally Dean admits he was wrong. I hope this dude is wearing his Depends tonight because he looks like he is about to wet himself or get the chair.

We get more of a Dean/Kristina/D.Lo. recap and I am sick of them already. He gets his ass handed to him and it is glorious.

Amanda talks about her relationship with Robby and how he was sweet, but she was guarded. She tried to give him a chance, but realized he wasn’t ready for a relationship. He was also allegedly seeing other people. You know what? I really am out of Fs to give. They were probably seeing each other but not exclusive. I really don’t care.  The twins accuse him of cheating and he denies it. Uh, twins? Know your roles and shut your holes! Amanda and Robby are done and again, who cares?

Lacey and Daniel are done….apparently the fantasy suite didn’t go over well. She was more into him than he was into her…and that was pretty much the gist of it.

Adam and Raven are still together and in love. They are planning to meet the parents, right there on the show.

Derek and Taylor get engaged! Congrats to them! Aw, even Corinne looks thrilled for them! Another “Bachelor in Paradise” couple gets their happily ever after!

Until next time….

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